Still up at 0500?

Saturday night, or rather Sunday morning at 0500 hours, I decided to watch my one hour of television. I was flipping through channels to try and find something inspiring to write about, when I realized I had gone through every channel twice with no luck. I could not find anything worth an hour of my time, at 5 a.m. to watch on TV. I tried to watch a very old lady sit behind a piano and sing outdated hymns of the church. She was so happy and perky as she sang her heart out to a camera. No one else was in the picture. I tried to ask myself, who would stay up all night, or better who would wake up at 0500 in the morning to watch this. I tried to think of what person in their right mind would plan on watching this show. Did anyone, other then myself, know she was on TV. I believe the audience for this show would be an elderly, Caucasian male or female, who likes to wake up on Sunday mornings before the sun comes up. Don't get me wrong, this lady was the nicest, kindest lady on TV at the time, but it wasn't 10 minutes that I forced myself to change the channel. The next program to catch my attention was the food network. I decided to give it a go. After two minutes of watching I realized it was an info-commercial trying to sell a knife set. I guess this product was the best thing to happen to cooks around the world. I found myself wanting to pick up the phone and order a set for myself. I could use a new knife set. My old set was dull and missing some. These knives lasted a lifetime. If they were to ever dull or go bad, there was a 100% satisfaction guarantee return policy. If I ordered them in the next 20 minutes, I got his free cook book and 4 steak knives. For one easy payment of $39.99 (+ $20.00 shipping and handling) I could own a brand new kitchen knife set. But why stop there. Christmas is right around the corner and the procrastinator that I am, I could have my moms gift wrapped and ready to go under the tree by October 10th. This offer is to good to be true. I could be a better cook, have a present for my mom, and save money all because of this wonderful product. Oh wait, what was this assignment? Who's the geared audience? If can't be me, I cook once a week. My mom has a full kitchen set of her own. Why would I need a product like this. Frustrated at this brain washing channel, I moved on. A DVD for sale of hot, young girls in little to no cloths wanting me. Haha, this one was easy. Every male in America has a "girls gone wild" DVD so I need one as well. Naked girls bouncing around in a "space shuttle" with no gravity and accidentally running into each other. 1-800-order-porn-on-TV. What a joke. Reruns of old TV shows, how to make 100,000 dollars in one month, and programs praising the name of god declaring that they infect were the profit sent from heaven to save our souls. I couldn't be happier that it was already 0600.

I don't watch a lot of TV. My roommates watch "weeds" and "lost" but I find it a waste of time. What do you have to show for when the program is done. A better understanding of the fake world this producer came up with. Laguna Beach for example? Why would I want to watch a show about someone else's life? No thanks, I'll sit and think of ways to better mine.