The Struggle to be a Man

In society men are expected to display the strong masculine image that we see projected in the media, from magazine models to television commercials. Physically, they are represented by the buff, tanned bodies they feel they must acquire, not only to impress the women, but in order to outdo other men as well. They are also expected to be taller and stronger than the women they date. As young boys, they are raised to be athletic, competitive, and emotionless. Not only must boys be careful to have the physical image of a man, but they must act and speak like a man. Fathers often instruct their sons saying, "be a man," and at a very young age they are teaching their sons to never cry or display themselves as weak. Any slippage to the image men are expected to portray and they are generally considered too feminine for our society. In homosocial bonds, men must act tough and cool to one another. However, it is not always easy for a man to know how to act. For example, when in the company of a lady they must be the perfect gentlemen. They are taught to change their language and even tone of voice when in the presence of a woman. Society also expects them to be understanding, sympathetic, and caring to the women in their life, making the situation very problematic for the men. They are constantly playing a game with themselves and others by trying to fit into our very heteronormative society.